the adventure of a rebel worshiper

After being reminded my blog was waiting for a post, I pondered last night what to share about this adventure began years ago.

The normal was blown to smithereens as I sought the true meaning of “worship in spirit and truth” and everything became uncharted territory.

Because Holy Spirit had planted the seeds in my heart, I longed deeply to see the desires of the Lord’s heart touched. It seemed that many were in the fields working for His Name to bring Him glory, but few were finding their priestly place to minister to the Lord and find union with Him in the secret place.

I looked at the priesthood.

Ezekiel 44 “They shall enter My sanctuary; they shall come near to My table to minister to Me and keep My charge. 17“It shall be that when they enter at the gates of the inner court, they shall be clothed with linen garments; and wool shall not be on them while they are ministering in the gates of the inner court and in the house. 18“Linen turbans shall be on their heads and linen undergarments shall be on their loins; they shall not gird themselves with anything which makes them sweat.

The priests were given clothing that they could not prepare themselves. We would be clothed by the Spirit of the Lord for serving the heart of the Lord. This could not be done by the flesh or things that were set as a precedent by another.

The newly formed group I began leading was filled with expectancy.   We were accustomed to others speaking for us while we remained silent. This meeting was to be different. My first humble instruction was that we wouldn’t do worship as the usual. We would earnestly seek Holy Spirit for His leadership and begin by learning to articulate worship without words written by another. Truly, this was a challenging leap. A few left us, a few nore joined our secret group.

We were in agreement that this was not for intercession or requests but that our hearts would open up vials of love even as Mary opened her spikenard in John 12:3 and poured out on the feet of the Lord.

How painful it was to realize that aside from following songs written by someone else and possibly given a few minutes to sing in our own prayer language, we had little ability to release a flow of love and expression from our own heart and soul. It was time to discover and articulate what had been suppressed in the past.

Deut 6:5 NIV Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength.

The soul needs articulation. Even in earth relationships…One doesn’t date or romance another to only read others words aloud to their new beloved. Poetic expression is beautiful, but it would be hard to find a man or woman that didn’t long to hear the real heart of the one that has become their love. So our soul needed liberty to express love as we ministered to the heart of God, seeking His longings.

Psalm 45:1  NIV My heart is stirred by a noble theme as I recite my verses for the king; my tongue is the pen of a skillful writer.  

Psalms 45:1 became a prayer that our tongue would be skillful with the leadership of the Spirit and express richly the depths of Love that would match the desires of the heart of God.

As truly awkward as our first steps began, our acknowledgement of dependency on Holy Spirit was always met by His leadership. We spent hours exploring together. Following our heart that each of us be free to express sweet quiet private words, kisses and whispers as well as following Holy Spirit in songs of tones, notes, singing in our language He gave us.

Oh truly, we lept into singing in tongues. After all, we were familiar with that.  We discovered though, that the longer we sang, the more in tune we became, but it wasn’t by ear, but by tuning for the amount of time that was needful to set aside the matters of the family, matters of our day, week, and things we had on our mind. We had precious liberty to spend time tuning to Holy Spirit’s leading, even if the tuning took 20 minutes of warm-up as we began like a newly formed orchestra.

Changed forever. No writing would do justice to share how the moment we bowed our hearts to join together, Father swept us up in His arms. Oh, how fun it would be to sneak up on Him, but He was waiting.

Something new is ahead, something more. So many believers have walked through years of transition.  Something is on the horizon for bodies of believers that will join in corporate ministry to the Lord.

Right now my heart is swirling with memories and longings for what is ahead for us all.

Something inside homes, something inside buildings of larger gatherings. Something that causes us to spill out onto streets as radiant beings…because we’ve found our place in the presence of God as our first place.











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Posted by on August 28, 2017 in Uncategorized


Recommending this subject. It’s not what you think it is.

Popular Teachings In the area of financial breakthrough and the revelation the Lord has given to me about the resources of Heaven and walking in divine provision, I want to reiterate obedience is better than sacrifice, and tie that truth to a couple other things that the Lord has shown me. We know there are […]

via Supernatural Provision – Part 4 —

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Posted by on August 28, 2017 in Uncategorized


Ponderings of a rebel

Ponderings of a rebel

What is a worship service?

Who are we serving worship to?

Do 3 fast songs, 2 slow songs and a few sometimes awkward minutes of self expression without someone else telling us what to say make up our best worship?

When we go to these worship services, is the heart of the God really touched?

What does real worship in Spirit and truth look like?

Years ago, I began to ponder the heart of the Father and His deepest desires. When I reviewed the meetings I attended aka worship services, it seemed that the satisfaction of the Heart of God had been overlooked and that the songs were simply a set up to prepare the people for the sermon. They were patterned after the theme of the sermon. Kind of like the first band act that prepared the crowd for the real deal they’d paid money to hear.  After all, the sermon was really was made the service…right?

In secret, I visited places among other tribes that I won’t list here, but was so stirred to minister to the deep desires of Jesus’ heart that the 5 songs at the start of meetings became repulsive. Observing and really listening to the songs, they didn’t fit worship. If not about the sermon, they would fit celebratory moments of “I am blessed” thoughts and “who I am in Christ” but not one song pointed to exalting God Almighty.

Not one song even resembled anything written in scriptures that revealed to us worship in Heaven. So really, if compared to this, we were attending a meeting where people sang about what they were doing, becoming and receiving. Perhaps at that time, truly people were being thankful and happy.

Still, at the end of these meetings, we’d done a lot in the Name, but we’d not truly addressed the One whose Heart beat for us.

Not knowing any better, people were leaving the building where they met completely satisfied with having done their spiritual duty as believers. But was the heart of the Father touched? Had Jesus been honored for giving His body and blood for us? Chatter filled the building at the end of the service as people happily left, but was Holy Spirit still waiting on us to yield to Him while sitting somewhere there on the back row till volunteers cut out the lights.

As I pondered this and more, my heart burned within me. Everything changed. Both angered at the trap we’d fallen into and weeping for our lack of knowledge, I became resolute.  I became a rebel of the status quo. Perhaps you have become one too.

Whispers of hope for union and communion. Ministry to the Lord became my affection.

Among intercessory leadership, I was given permission to take a window of time and minister to the Lord in a small corporate setting. It a secret meeting… Only a few knew it was even there.

John 4:23-24 New International Version (NIV)

23 Yet a time is coming and has now come when the true worshipers will worship the Father in the Spirit and in truth, for they are the kind of worshipers the Father seeks. 24 God is spirit, and his worshipers must worship in the Spirit and in truth.”

My quest for John 4:23-24 became the cocoon for a metamorphosis. Paul’s words in the letter to Colossians speaks for this journey.

Philippians 3:12-14 New International Version (NIV)

12 Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. 13 Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, 14 I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.

Have you wondered what this can be?

What would happen in a gathering of burning hearts that wouldn’t let go until complete union satisfied the heart of the Father for His children’s affection?

It is said that when John the Beloved would approach and enter a building that the waves of the Love of God from the entry point to the other side of the room and people would weep. Perchance we spill out of our gathering place radiating outside our earthen vessel so powerfully as John the Beloved did that people in their cars on the road at the traffic light we approached in our car feel the love of God overtake them.

This is the direction for my “rekindled” weekly blog.  I’d love to read about your worshiping heart.




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Posted by on August 15, 2017 in Uncategorized


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Turning the calendar page

Greetings friends.

Welcome the calendar year 2017. Though we’ve already celebrated Rosh Hashanah and the beginning of 5777,  I was eager last night to view the Psalm that would be attributed to the new page of time recording.

With all the recent messages from respected global teachers, I find an expectation and announcement of the Lord showing His plans and His nature to the world.

It would seem that this Psalm too is telling us, “Watch and see, He is gracious and faithful, with enduring love. Give Him praise!”

May this Psalm be a reminder to you of His great love and faithfulness to His covenant and heart full of love for you and your family.

Lean hard into Him and His love when you cannot see what He is doing to answer your prayers.

He is faithful and we will exult in His victories planned for our days.

Psalm 117 New International Version

1 Praise the Lord, all you nations;
extol him, all you peoples.
2 For great is his love toward us,
and the faithfulness of the Lord endures forever.
Praise the Lord.

Psalm 117 Wycliffe Bible

Alleluia. All heathen men, praise ye the Lord; all peoples, praise ye him. (Alleluia. All the heathen, praise ye the Lord; all the peoples, praise ye him.)
2 For his mercy is confirmed on us; and the truth of the Lord dwelleth [into] without end. (For his love toward us is strong/For his love toward us is firm; and the faithfulness of the Lord remaineth forever.)

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Posted by on January 1, 2017 in Uncategorized



Hello there, welcome to my renewal of blogging.

Life changed drastically since the blog began.  I was very surprised to get a note today that reminded me a blog was out there in internet land that had some thoughts of mine.

I am still here. I am still. I am, still. Say what? Yes, after the past season, I’m just glad that I am still here. On the other hand, I am learning to be still also.

The writing from here on is reserved for special people. If you choose to follow the writings you’ll find out why.

Quiet is underrated. 

Most have “real quiet” on our delicacy list of moments desired. Others run from quiet as if it is a feared punishment and manage to stay busy because they don’t know what they would do with what is found within if they got quiet enough to hear it.

God says, “Be still and know that I am God”.

What does this mean to you? Does this mean that in being still we will find knowledge of Who He is that can’t be found other ways? I think so.

It is the glory of God to conceal a matter and the glory of kings to search it out. just sayin’

Do you long for quiet? Do you long to be so quiet that you not only hear your heart, but the Heart beat of the One who made you and loves you best?

What will He say to you in when stillness opens the golden door to a special place where your heart and the heart of God align?

What do you think?

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Posted by on October 30, 2012 in Uncategorized


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Hello world!

Hello, welcome to my 2011 blog. It will be an ice cream blog. If you don’t like the flavor of the day, just come back and check later, your flavor may be on the menu.

Today I was thinking about some of the friendships in my life. (there is much more to be said on this, just a dip into my philosophical thought life for two seconds here)

I was fortunate to visit with a friend yesterday. We had not had much communication other than FaceBook for quite some time, but there was a time in our lives that we rallied in business together daily. Those were tough and sweet times. Time rolled on, but when I saw her, my heart was still the same in appreciation for her life as when we’d talked together daily. I love my young friend and cheer her on her journey in life to complete the destiny before her.

You know, time has a way of sifting through those that are perma-relationship friends and those that are sojourning relationships. You love both, but if you are a golden retriever friend, you have to remember that some of them are in for a season. You love them while they are there and then release them with love when you see the season change.

I have eagle friends. We each soar and sojourn to different places, but when it is time for the eagles to gather, they are there. If I call, they are there…really there, not just for a few minutes… but ready to take to the trenches till the battle cry is over.

Some are like hummingbirds that will always come back through and share their beauty with you, even for just a season or two. Others are like butterflies that stop to swap pollen or gather nectar for the rest of their journey through life.

In every one of my friends, there is a unique beauty, trait or gift that dazzles from the Creator.

Just thinking…not a doctoral dissertation here…just thankful for all the different types of friends that I have.


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Posted by on February 18, 2011 in Uncategorized